Spousal Miscommunications

We had a moisture problem in our hall bath. Water had managed to get behind the tiles surrounding the tub and change the shape of the wall—and by change the shape I mean it used to be, you know, flat, and then it became not-so-flat. Each time we bathed the baby I swore it was only a matter of time before tiles started falling into the tub. We finally decided something had to be done and started the process of hiring a “Tile Guy”. First Tile Guy wanted too much (for what he wanted we could have installed a Jacuzzi tub in our bathroom and I could have hired someone to bring me drinks while bathing) second Tile Guy didn’t show, but third Tile Guy’s price was right and he was able to start the job quickly. Hubby suggests putting in tile that matches the beige-ish floor tiles and going with a larger tile rather than the small white tiles that were there. I agree and we take a trip down to the local home improvement store to check out what’s available. Indeed they had shower wall tiles that matched our floor tiles, and they were larger—I’d say about a 5-6” square as opposed to the 4” squares we had. Somewhere along the way we had a conversation that went something like this:

Hubby: So, you like the darker tiles?

Me: Yes, they’ll look nice with the floor tiles since they match.

Hubby: And you like the larger tiles?

Me: Yes.

Fast forward to day of tile installation and I glance down the hall to check on Tile Guy's progress. After the unfortunate realization that the plumber's butt "feature" also carries over to Tile Guys I then look to see huge 12” tiles going up on the bathroom wall! The same size as the ones on the floor. What the…? How on earth did this happen, I’m thinking. I call hubby at work to blow my top politely explain the situation and his response is: “You said you wanted the larger tiles!” Umm, yeah, larger than the ones we had—not as big as the ones on the floor! So, hubby comes home [he’s only right down the street] to check on things as I’m asking Tile Guy if you can even use these tiles on a wall because to me they look like floor tiles and I’ve never seen that large of a tile on a bathroom wall. He assures me you can use them and that he’s had other bathrooms done with them. After much debate between the hubby and I in front of poor confused Tile Guy we finally decide it’s fine, no biggie, we’ll stick with it. And the bathroom does look good. I think the moral of the story here is that next time I need to “get it in writing” since apparently hubby’s interpretations are vastly different than mine. You’d think I’d know better by now.

Moving in May(hem)

In celebration of May and mainly because I felt now was the time, SAHM is moving to it’s very own home! www.survivethemayhem.com Blogger will not leave any readers behind though, as the blogspot address will still work. So, are things like “Survive the Mayhem” t-shirts and mugs far behind? Yeah, probably.

Child Custody, Deadbeat Dads and a Truly Failing Legal System

You hear much talk about our legal system and its failings. While I can’t discuss much of it with any knowledge, there is one aspect of it for which I have quite a bit of personal knowledge: the Family Court system and how it handles child custody, unpaid child support and other issues surrounding this topic.

I find it very disturbing that some states have an “equal-parenting-time-regardless-of-how-much-of-a-louse-one-parent-is” custody policy. This does a great disservice to children. While I firmly believe that in most cases a child having two parents is certainly better than one and in the case of divorce it’s the “ideal” to have frequent and continuing contact between both parents, it is not always within the best interests of the child. Many state’s laws do not recognize this and their one size fits all policy is harmful. I guess I also find it pretty distressing that just because we live in a world of folks whose problems include drug use, abuse and other such behaviors that the negative actions of a father who toes the line between neglect and abuse are simply overlooked.

It is disturbingly ironic that within our legal system if you are a criminal, or are even just accused of committing a crime, you get free legal representation. Yet if you are, for instance, a mom simply trying to defend your rights and the rights of your children after a divorce you must pay for legal help, and pay dearly. When dealing with a dead-beat dad situation, oftentimes going after the unpaid support costs many times more in legal fees than is recuperated. This is truly unjust. It’s also of great concern to me that our legal system tolerates less than scrupulous attorneys skirting the legally allowed procedures and even more troubling when much less than honorable judges allow them to get away with it.

In closing and on a personal note, this would be an excellent time for the good folks at Toyota, AT&T and other fine corporations to purchase advertising from SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem. You see, I have some legal bills to pay, and well, the pay for being a SAHM isn’t going to touch them!

Study pegs mom's market value at nearly $117,000: Financial News - Yahoo! Finance

So, I'm worth six figures, huh? Nice. The SAHM gig is no cushy job, that's for sure. When I hear complaints from dear hubby about how he "worked all day" I look at him and reply "what do you think I did all day?" Just because I didn't get a paycheck doesn't mean I didn't work--believe me! Lately, in addition to my usual mom duties I've been fielding girl questions from the teenager (as yet another one calls him to say she likes him) while chasing after my incredibly active toddler who literally does laps around the living room. His new thing has been wanting to wear his big brother's helmet and then running around the house. Great, I have my very own crash test baby!

Study pegs mom's market value at nearly $117,000: Financial News - Yahoo! Finance

Dora, is that you?

So I’m strolling though Target with both teenager and tot in tow (okay, the teenager wasn’t so much “in tow” as he was hanging out in the electronics department checking out the video games while I shopped) and I come across this….. Cracked me up! Perhaps the Target employee in charge of cleaning up the aisles wasn’t so much of a Dora the Explorer fan.