My owners have now required me to live outside. It happened around the time that new little person arrived, after my owner’s tummy got slightly smaller. [Funny though, her butt stayed the same size.] Anyway, this is the same time the dog was also given the old heave-ho out back. I’m not sure about him, but I think the reason I’m here is because of the numerous mice I’ve brought in, both dead and alive. Or maybe it was the bird whose feathers I coughed all over the dining room. Perhaps it was the many lizards who I’ve played with casually in the living room. But in thinking about it, it was more likely the snakes---the live ones, slithering down the hall at 2 AM. Yeah, it had to have been the snakes. I just don’t think they appreciate my friends. I also don’t think they realize that referring to me as the d*** cat hurts my kitty feelings. I’ve now had to resort to sleeping with the dog. They went out and bought him a house…can you believe it, a house!! Nothing for the cat, but a fully furnished, shingled roof, weather protected, window opening house with a skylight for the stupid dog! So, I’ve taken over. Yeah, I let the big furry guy in though, but only because he’s warm and frankly, I like to cuddle. Don’t tell anyone – I’ll deny it.