Entertainment Value of Disorganization

I’ve mentioned a few times that our garage has been an ongoing project. We’ve now successfully cleared out nearly all the “big” baby things we no longer use and have worked our way through several boxes of baby clothes which we’ve sold on eBay. Since we often have something to get rid of via eBay I’ve made it a rule to save any re-usable packing supplies. This includes not only boxes but bubble wrap, "peanuts" and those nifty little air filled plastic pillows that are so great for padding. Whenever we get a package and I want to save the packing supplies I’ve tossed it out into the garage. Yes, I admit, I’ve not taken the time to stop everything I’m doing, make sure the baby’s safe and gone out to find an actual spot for it. My method is simply to open the door and chuck it out there. (Yeah yeah, I can see how the garage got this way. Sort of.) Anyway, this is something that greatly annoys the hubby since the garage of horror has been a major sore spot for us. Well, the other day we drove into the garage and were bombarded with a very sudden; "BANG, bang, bang, bang!" This is when I realized we had just driven over a whole row of air filled plastic pillows making it sound as if we’d been under attack by the mafia with machine guns. After a very surprised reaction which included jumping up a few feet in his seat the hubby shot me a look that said it all. So, I promised to be better about stuff I toss into the garage. Right after I stopped laughing.

Eating my words {and apparently a few too many other things}

For those of you following along on my weight loss journey, or as I like to refer to it: Operation Fit [back into my pants] you might have noticed the ticker did not move this week. It didn’t move because had I gone in to edit it in order to be accurate I would have had to move it the opposite direction. That’s right people, I’ll admit it, this week not only did I not lose weight I gained. And the worst part, even worse than gaining, is that prior to my weigh in yesterday I asked the hubby how he did for the week and he reported he’d lost a pound. Apparently instead of exclaiming; “Honey, that’s wonderful! Good job!” I said something which sounded to him like: “That’s all? Only a pound? When on earth are you going to get rid of that big spare tire you’re sporting?!” But in reality I’m sure it was something closer to; “Oh ok, I’m surprised you didn’t lose more since men tend to lose it faster and easier than women—but just keep it going in that direction Lovechunk” or something like that. So, due to my remarks the hubby tells me that I had better have lost more than a pound when I weigh in at Weight Watchers. Yeah, about that.. oops. Sorry honey! You are the weight loss KING this week.

They're really more like “Doglets”

My folks have a toy poodle named Barney. And by “toy” I mean it could easily be mistaken for one, except of course for the yappity yap yapping oh so common for small dogs. I have never quite understood the small dog phenomenon, which seems to be most prevalent among the older generation. I remember the first time I saw a “dog in a purse”. Then came the doggy stroller. And if that wasn’t enough one on one time with your pooch there’s the doggie carrier so you can have Fido strapped to your chest just like a baby.

My folks have not gotten quite so carried away with Barney but they are pretty crazy about the dog. And by “crazy” I mean, it must be in the same room with them at all times, must have people food, must be held on their laps and to suggest something as outrageous as the fact that they leave the house for more than an hour or two is met with stern objections about how they can’t leave the dog that long.

I must confess the hubby and I are not small dog “people”. We always have been of of the notion that to be “a dog” said animal should actually be bigger than a cat. In fact our cat Chloe, whom you’ve all heard from in her post could take this dog in an instant and we’ve actually had to keep the two of them away from each other during their visits. Our dog, (who I’ve asked to write a guest post but so far he's been too lazy) is about twenty times the size of this poodle and puts up with him most admirably. Murray will put up with Barney barking incessantly at him, chasing after him and even nipping at him to the point of Barney ending up with a puff of Murray’s cream colored fur in his mouth. A couple years ago when the folks were here for Christmas, Barney was harassing Murray by taking his toys and scurrying off with them. Murray was apparently so traumatized by this he took one of his own toys and chewed it up to the point of eating it—we are assuming all in an attempt to keep Barney from getting it. Fortunately it did not hurt him physically, but it was at this point we realized that separating these two might be a good idea to avoid the high cost of doggie psycho-therapy for poor Murray.

Which leads me to my point about small dogs and their owners. Why must people drive with their dog in their lap? Am I the only one who sees the potential danger in this? Children must be in cars seats for their safety as well as our own, we’re told not to hold cell phones while driving but yet it’s okay for Muffy to sit right there as you’re attempting to steer an automobile? The hubby put it quite well when seeing a woman driving along with her poodle in her lap and mentioned he hoped she didn’t have an accident in which her airbag deployed. “Hey lady, you’ve got some poodle on your shirt”.

Fun with Keyword Searches or You found me how?

Time for a round of “How did you find SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem”?

It’s always amusing to take a look at the key words people type in Google and other search engines to find this site. Let’s take a look, shall we?

If you cut off eyelashes do they grow back?

Thankfully, yes! They also grow back when you accidentally yank them out!

Seriously So Blessed

Who doesn’t love a good parody?

Do Not remove Under penalty of Law

Because the cuteness of this photo says it all.

Letter to neighbors

Neighbors are great, aren’t they?

Why isn’t my husband romantic?

Ah yes, the age old question.

Frugal diaper bags

Inspired by the story involving both diaper bags and frugality but not in combination.

How to survive being a SAHM and surviving being a SAHM

I’m still working on this one. Every day.

Drivers Ed notes

Holy crap! A teen driver in the house.

Snap a picture of my bra

Ok, I rarely do this, but when presented with this photo op I’m afraid I had no choice.

Deadbeat dads and child custody

Yeah. Always a fun topic.

Crazy wife of ex-husband blog stalking

Oh No She Didn’t! aka the infamous “Special Reader” posts.

I told you so!

As you all know, I've been dedicated to Operation Fit [back into my pants] for weeks now and have diligently been walking, counting points and really watching things closely to lose weight. As you might have noticed from my weight loss ticker it's been paying off. I'm currently down by a little more than 5 pounds. The hubby and I have been great about getting up at what we refer to as the butt-crack of dawn to walk and this morning was no exception. That is until an unfortunate incident occurred not more than one minute into our walk. Perhaps you'll recall just two posts ago I mentioned my frequent injuries due to being a big klutz? Well, I no sooner walked across the street when I somehow twisted my ankle on the curb and tumbled to the ground. The hubby describes this as: "walk, walk, splat!" (Yes, he's hilarious that way.) So, hubby helps me up and tends to a few of my boo boos then heads off for a jog with little guy who's all ready to go in his jogging stroller. At least one of us got our exercise this morning. I however got road burn for nothing.

Happy Blogiversary SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem

It’s been one year since I started this thing. I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going with this whole venture when I started out and I’ve pretty much just let it take it’s own natural course. I find it hard to really describe what this blog is truly about. Sure, it’s a “mommy blog” and there are mommy things in here, but there’s also plenty of other day to day musings on life in general, marriage, home, family, issues like weigh gain/loss, child custody, clutter, simplifying life, just enjoying life and even the occasional recipe. Along the way I’ve had “couldn’t pass-by opportunities” to have a little bloggie fun writing about my “Special Reader” and those posts [Oh No She Didn’t! & Oh No She Didn’t! Part 2] have been some of my more popular ones. The entertaining and amusing things that happen in day to day living are just too fun to not share and I think that’s why I really enjoy writing this blog. Also, I figure there’ve got to be some people out there who find me as hilarious as I think I am. Of course it’s not all funny and there are plenty of topics I don’t even approach. (I don’t want to touch this election with a ten foot pole, thank you!) I look forward to continuing this journey and sharing various tales with my readers. I’d also love to hear from you and welcome your comments and e-mails. To all of you who’ve been following along so far thank you and to those of you newcomers welcome and I hope you all enjoy the stories to come.

Hannah

And Speaking of Bras...

I decided it was time to get rid of all my nursing tops. After all, baby weaned himself a year ago and they've been sitting in the garage ever since. While I was going through the boxes baby found a nursing bra and discovered a new use for it.

This leads me to a story of when he was born. Somewhere during the middle of my hospital stay I decided I wanted to wear my nursing bra. The problem was I was confined to bed and hooked up to a multitude of things that would be too difficult to remove and replace in order for me to actually get a bra on. My nurse had a creative idea. She thought she would simply thread the straps of the bra over the machines, down the tubes connected to me and eventually up onto my shoulder. It seemed reasonable to me, of course at the time I don't think my brain was in any condition to put much thought into the logistics of such a complex operation. She managed to get the bra over the IV pole and bag, thread it through some more tubing, wires, etc. but somewhere along the way she got lost. She was determined though! She kept at it like one of those brain teaser puzzles and I swear she did not want to give up! Sadly, she could not make her way over to me and her self-created puzzle became so complex Houdini himself couldn't have made it out of this thing. So, you know how you start these things and then can't undo them? Yeah. Well. Ultimately, she could not undo this tangled mess and get the bra off. So I think you know where I'm going with this. For the rest of my hospital stay, I had a bra dangling from my IV unit until I was unconnected and discharged. Unfortunately, neither I nor the hubby thought to snap a picture of this (silly us, we were taking pictures of our new baby!) The hilarity that ensued down at the nurses station from the frequently repeated "Did you see the bra hanging from the IV in room 301?!" was priceless and I'm sure still talked about today.