End of Summer Events

As our official summer (defined by summer break) winds down, we are in preparation for two big events around here; the start of school, and the little guy’s birthday. I can recall when I wrote this post about parents using months rather than years for their kids’s ages. When I wrote that my little guy was only just over a year old (which of course I referred to as 13 months.) My denial over my baby perhaps not being so much a baby any longer continues as he is now 35 months. I cannot even imagine saying “3” as in three years! Wow. To say the time has flown would be a major understatement. In honor of this big milestone I’m preparing a special slide show outlining his first 35-ish months of life and I’m hoping to post a version of it here on the blog. This of course will all be dependent upon whether or not I can don my techie hat and manage to get the thing to work, set it to music, etc. Unfortunately, I am just barely technologically inclined to be a danger to myself, but not so much as to actually accomplish things that need significant techie knowledge. In addition to slide show, I’m also thinking of posting my birth story since when the little guy was born this blog did not yet exist and so I never had a chance to share it. I’ve been inspired as I’ve read about others’ birth stories and think I might like to share mine. So we’ll see. In the meantime, we’re gearing up for his birthday as we have a big party planned. It’s actually been helpful to have this party to plan and look forward to because it’s forced us to get some things done around here that we otherwise might have taken our time to do and I have to say I’m really pleased with all we’ve accomplished! Okay, let me rephrase that, I’m pleased with all the Hubby has accomplished. It just amazes me some of the things he can do and he really enjoys doing lots of landscaping and making our yard more available for entertaining. I will have to take some photos and post them. As I think about my little guy's upcoming birthday I am trying to do what my husband always tell me when I get a little sad about our baby growing up and really try to focus on and enjoy every minute and every stage of his life. As I work on this slide show and see how he’s grown over the last few years it just amazes me. Stay tuned.

Addressing that Purple Elephant in the Room

As previous posts have mentioned, I've had assorted bouts with both being a Mormon and a lesbian, though not actually at the same time. Over the years I've had numerous people comment on both. I get a kick out of this especially because it’s interesting to see what people consider more shocking.

So… the lesbian thing: before I get into my own unique situation, I'd first like to start out by saying that I firmly believe one's sexuality is something they are born with the same as whether they are right or left handed. I also believe, as many others do, that there is a spectrum along which we all somewhere fall. We aren't all at either one end or the other as many people fall somewhere in between. Clearly, for those who are more definitively at one end or the other they are either heterosexual or homosexual and to go "the other way" for them would be completely against their nature. (Note to folks who are creeped out by gay people: it is every bit as “unnatural” for a gay person to even imagine having a partner in life of the opposite gender as it is for you to imagine yours being the same gender.) For those who fall somewhere in the middle, they are able to have a relationship with someone of the same or opposite gender. Therein lies the only "choice" there is to it. There is no choice for those on the ends of the spectrum; they are born that way and cannot change that. I personally fall somewhere in between those two ends of the spectrum.

At age thirty, having been previously married for many years, I determined that I could perhaps have a relationship with someone of the same gender. I only determined this after having divorced my husband due to having been unhappy in our marriage for quite some time for many reasons. It was at this time in my life that I also walked away from my ten year stint as a fully participating, card-carrying Mormon. (We’ll call it a package deal.) I know there are those who would like hear what my thought process was in making this important decision, so here it is in a nutshell: I had chosen to join this church organization as a young woman of twenty. I was at a point in my life when I wanted some structure and guidance and felt my general “goody-two-shoes” nature would fit right in with a group of clean living, church attending folks who believed in God, marriage and family; things I have always believed in. If my original perception of this religion has been accurate I likely would have been happy with it. Unfortunately, there is so much more to it than a seemingly “good Christian church” and you simply are not told up front about many of the beliefs, requirements and general way of life. After feeling very skeptical, doubtful and negative about numerous things, including glaringly obvious contradictions and hypocrisies combined with needlessly severe restrictions I was no longer willing to be part of this religion. Overall, my participation in this organization served to make me feel overwhelmed, inadequate and depressed. My basic belief in God had not changed, but my feeling as to whether or not it was truly necessary to belong to this or any other particular religious organization did.

After much soul searching and looking inside myself to determine what I believed in and really wanted in my life, I decided to leave both this religion and my marriage. Then, without ever having had an actual relationship, I surmised that maybe, just maybe I needed to try dating women. Yes, to suddenly decide I might be happy in a same-gender relationship does seem like a bit of a stretch, doesn’t it? But I had just spent the majority of my twenties in a loveless marriage and an oppressive religion; somehow this actually seemed less ridiculous.

Fast forward several years: after dating only women and having had two committed relationships of length which I ultimately ended, I determined that I would at least attempt to give it another shot with men. What led me to make this change after several years was a combination of things. For one, I never found the right female partner; put simply, someone who had the various qualities I wanted, desired a family life and was fully committed to a life together. I have always believed in marriage (for everyone...in case you haven’t read my Prop 8-related posts) and very much wanted that. For many years I had hoped to have that with a female partner if I’d found the right one but I never did. Back then, as I didn’t yet quite understand the nature of the whole spectrum thing, I assumed a relationship with a man was just not in the cards for me. When I later concluded that it might be, [hence the “somewhere in the middle” thing] I decided I should at least try dating men. I realize there are many people who don’t understand this and think silly things like; “Doesn’t that mean she’ll just want a relationship with a woman again?” No, it doesn’t mean that at all. I cannot speak for others, but I am very much a committed person who devotes total loyalty to my partner in life. Although it took me years to understand myself in regard to my own sexuality, there is one thing I have always been clear on and that is my devotion to the one special person I’ve chosen to share my life with. I’ll never know the definitive answer to the question; “would I have been happy had I found the right woman?” but the fact is it no longer matters. In my decision to once again date men, I was eventually led to my husband and thus my marriage today. (And no, he was not the first man I dated when I decided to date men. To read more about that journey you can read my very first post.) It’s possible I could have found Mr. Right many years ago had I decided to date men following my divorce but that is not the road I took. For many reasons I am glad I didn’t take that road. Things happen for a reason. Of course, we don’t always know what that reason is.

It’s interesting when I think that for so many years following my divorce I assumed I would never have any more children. I’d always intended to have more than one (though not a large number) but I was resigned to the fact that one might likely be it for me and I was largely okay with that. I recall back when the hubby and I got engaged and I had a check up with my OB/GYN (who was of course aware of the fact that I’d been in a long term relationship with a woman). She walked into the exam room and I exclaimed: “I just got engaged and we want to try to have a baby!” She congratulated me and then asked if I was talking about a woman or a man. When I’d told her a man her reply was; “Oh good, then that’ll make it easier to get pregnant!” (It’s fun having a humorous gynecologist!)

I know some folks might think; “Well, we all make mistakes and she decided to turn her life around.” I make no apologies for this part of my life and don’t think about it in terms of having made a “mistake” as some may assume. It is part of who I am and was, part of what makes me who I am today and simply another aspect of my life. In fact, the journey taught me a lot of things about myself and ultimately helped me to grow as a person. There’s also something to be said for the jokes that fly around here; there’s no shortage of humorous jabs between the hubby and I about “past girlfriends” on both sides. Yeah, it makes life interesting.

There you have it folks; just a little more insight into the mystery behind the mayhem. More thorough details on this whole story could fill a book (and will) so this is a significantly condensed version. But now you know a bit more about that purple elephant.

Three words every kid dreads

Although “clean your room” probably comes close, nothing strikes fear into the hearts of kids everywhere like the term; “Back to school.” Around here school starts ridiculously early…so early in fact that it even hits before the little guy's mid-August birthday. When people talk about going back to school and mention “in the Fall” in the same sentence it sounds pretty silly since this momentous event occurs during full-on Summer. So lately, just for fun, I’ve been harassing Teenager by mentioning the Back to school sales when I see an ad in the paper and talking about school supplies which were stocked at our local Target last month, in June, the month that school used to end in. Speaking of Back to School and school supplies, several years ago Staples did a commercial that I thought was hilarious. Here it is here for your viewing pleasure and please feel free to harass and taunt your own school aged children with it.

 

It was the flux capacitor

(To read the brief "prequel" to this story first, scroll down to the previous post or click here.)

The A/C repair guy finally made it here. We got lucky. Thankfully, it was not the compressor which would have meant waiting for a new one to be ordered.This was perhaps the fastest repair job in history. All it was is this:

Within mere minutes cool air was once again blowing. Thank heaven for modern technology. And now I am only half as cranky as I was an hour ago.

Didn't we go through this exact same thing before?

Almost exactly this time last year our A/C went out. I remember writing about this in a whiny post here. Well, it's out again. And just like last year, it's triple digit weather. We are currently waiting for the repair guy and hoping it gets fixed quickly. It took days to repair last time and special parts had to be ordered. Let's hope this is not the case this time. There are two things that make me very, very cranky; being hot and being on a diet. So, I think you see what I'm saying here (hint: I'm hitting both of them at the same time.) I think Hubby might be spending a lot more time at the office.

Awkward Family Photo

Just because I love sharing a good laugh I’ve decided to post what could possibly be considered one of the most ridiculously awkward family photos in history.

Let me set the scene for you:
Circa 1970’s (that in and of itself makes for some serious hilarity), Dad had long ago lost his hair and thus, sported a toupee. Mom had the typical mom-do; sort of semi-beehive affair. And speaking of hair, this unfortunate family photo session took place just after I’d gotten into Dad’s hairpiece tape (not one of my better ideas) to secure a dress up wig to my head, not realizing that being bald is a prerequisite for using the tape, resuling in a forced “shag” haircut. Then you add the clothes….oh good grief the clothes…well, it was the seventies. Now since this is technically the only unveiling of a photo of yours truly (albeit a few years decades ago) I want to state that I look nothing like this today. Oh who am I kidding? Minus the seventies clothes this eerily reminds me of the time back in early 2000 when I got all my hair cut off because I thought I was “too old” for long hair.

So here you go folks…..

Good for all Boo Boo's

We have one of those little bears that holds an ice pack for various bumps and boo boo's.  Little guy appropriately calls this the "Boo Boo Bear" and whenever he falls, runs into something or even gets even the slightest bit banged up he cries and/or whimpers (depending on the severity of the incident) and calls for the Boo Boo Bear. We think this is pretty cute, even though he has been known on occasion to appear to take a tumble on purpose and ask for the Boo Boo Bear.  So, last night as Teenager went to hug his little brother goodnight, little guy looked at his older brother's acne speckled face, pointed and said: "Buhbuh! (his word for "brother") uh-oh, Boo Boo Bear!"  Yeah, when your two year old brother thinks you need his Boo Boo Bear, it might be prudent to step up your acne fighting routine.

An extra “special” anniversary

It’s the one year anniversary of a very special event here at SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem. (Actually, I missed the mark by a few weeks but we won’t split hairs especially since Hallmark doesn’t make a card for this one.) A little over a year ago an exciting discovery was made; it seems that a very “special” person found my blog and started reading daily (and sometimes hourly!) and thus began her infamous career as my “Special Reader” (The original story & followup can be read here and here.)

Apparently the time off work during the summer has freed up her schedule for blog reading so there’ve been a lot more visits from her these days. It’s great to know that after a whole year+ I haven’t become boring and still am able to keep my very Special Reader interested in my daily life! And why wouldn’t she be? I mean, between the cute kid photos, hilarious husband happenings and other daily amusements this is an entertaining blog! I even throw in the occasional organizing tip and recipe. Of course, I realize Special Reader may be hoping to read about more remarkable things…you know, like me admitting I buried someone in the backyard, have a huge overseas bank account or spend my non-blogging time printing money in the garage. Actually, come to think of it, she could be hoping I’ll blog more about some of my past stories…. after all that’s where all the juicy stuff is. Perhaps she’s waiting for me to elaborate on how I went from being a married Mormon mom to a divorced-single-mom-turned-lesbian-for-several-years-before-marrying-Mr. Right-and-having-another-baby. (But aren’t we all wondering about that?)

When you get right down to it, my Special Reader should be thanking me. Yes, that’s right, thanking me. After all, had it not been for the decisions I made many years ago, she would not have the husband and kids she has today--I opened the door for her on that one. (You’re welcome, Special Reader!) So now she has her family and gets a little glimpse into mine...lucky on both counts! I guess it’s a voyeuristic kind of thing; it’s fascinating to look into the lives of folks you have a curiosity about, whether they are a celebrity or just your husband's former wife.

I’ll admit I was not quite sure what to think when I initially learned of my new reader a year ago, but then it kind of amused me. Now I find it even more amusing that Special Reader has shown the remarkable restraint in not leaving any comments this entire time! Believe me, that is restraint, let me tell you. This is a person who had to be silenced by the Bailiff in a court room because she couldn’t go without “commenting”. So, I am pretty impressed as well as shocked that she’s been able to restrain herself. But, I don’t want to make too much out of this or the next thing you know the producers of “Jerry Springer” will be contacting the both of us to do a show. (Sorry Jerry, you’ll have to wait until Oprah’s done interviewing me about the book.)

As I said a year ago, this blog is for everyone, even Special Reader and she’s welcome to just keep right on reading because, well….that’s pretty “special”.

Honey, the police are here...

This is not the thing you want to hear your spouse say when you're sitting around, minding your own business while enjoying a holiday weekend.  Mr. big, burly police officer showed up asking if we had kids and if they were ok. Apparently the police department had been getting 911 distress calls coming from an unknown number but tracing back to our house. So naturally we assumed the little guy had gotten a hold of a phone and somehow been dialing but this was not the case. After further investigation we found the source. The day before Teenager had been messing around with the settings on his cell phone and managed to lock himself out of his phone and render it inoperable. Well, inoperable except for emergency calls. He had no idea that this could happen and you know how your pants decide to call people? Well, his called the only phone number available; 911, and called it repeatedly.  Apparently police are able to track down where the number is coming from. They heard kids in the background (we were all outside playing) and came to check on us. We were naturally very surprised and apologized for the accidental calls but the police officer was very nice. We're pretty thankful to know our local police department is on top of their emergency calls...even pants calls.